Seasonal progress

I have spent some time in a remote place with a good study area.  I find the atmosphere of this place conductive to study.  Being there helped me to make some progress with my research, as well as with other projects I am engaged in.  I mapped out a story, analysed it, wrote about it and expressed my emotional response to it through a poem.
It has been a relief to stop and dwell awhile, away from heavy demands of work and relentless email traffic.  I have a long way to go with my narrative research study, but am determined to press on.  It is my participants' stories that keep me engaged.  The more I delve into the stories, the more I learn from them and the more I admire my participants for their dedication and commitment to their work.  They give themselves to their work fully, thoughtfully and willingly.

Adapting to the digital age: a narrative approach

Adapting to the digital age: a narrative approach

Thinking about stories

The stories I present are "solicited" (Plummer 2001' p.28) stories, "specifically gathered" (Ibid.) for the purposes of this research.  The stories did not exist in narrative form before my interviews with my participants.  Rather, as Plummer articulates, they were "seduced, coaxed and interrogated out of the subjects" (Ibid.).  My participants' lives are my resource.  I am involved in the construction of these solicited stories.  This research is personal, "embodied" (Ibid. p.213).

There are so many stances to define and issues to consider! Did I coax the stories out of my participants, or seduce them into telling them to me? My participant provided me with my resource. What did I offer in return?

I am delving into the stories, gaining insights and writing the thesis. I give them this in return!

Dilemmas and decisions
Scattered on the journey
Tip toe
Tip toe
Stride

Acting on advice at tutorials

As advised, I re-visited the transcript I had abandoned and found it rich in content and illuminating to the thesis as a whole.
In my attempt to organise an accumulated pile of research-related papers, I make notes on a paper I read some weeks ago.  In this re-reading, I make links with the above-mentioned, newly-considered transcript.
The article considers the meaning of 'love labour' and emphasises its 'visibility' and 'its worth in sustaining relationships' (O'Riordan et al, 2010, p.83).  This accords with my participant's story. She reiterates the importance of demonstrating love and of building trusting relationships with families.
From this reflection I note that current reading ineviatably relates to current study, we learn with and from others and research is surprising.

I belong to a community of Early Years researchers

It was a delight to meet up with my EdD friends, Joy, Jackie, Helen and Cathy, at the TACTYC conference in Birmingham yesterday.  I belong to a community of Early Years researchers! 
I soaked up the presentation by Kathy Gooch and Sasha Powell.  They talked about the need for 'authentic professionalism that comes from within'.  Early Years work involves more than activity, they suggest. We bring who we are, our inner beings to the work, rather than simply perform according to externally devised standards. 
Clare Warden stressed the importance of reflection and professional dialogue and advocated the use of reflective journals and 'floor books'.  Within this approach, there is a space for 'silent pedagogy', and for skilled practitioners to share magic moments with children.
Cathy Nutbrown talked about the importance of children engaging with 'the stuff of the world', having opportunities to mould clay and water and other earthly materials, and watching crafts people at work.  Highly skilled people are needed for work with young children.
These inspiring talks have re-enlivened my thinking and will feed into my writing as I develop my thesis.

Take me out to the meadow that is mine, mine
Out in the ancient English fields
Allow me to gaze at the tower and town
You and me, out there in the open

SC 10/11/12

Tuning in at tutorials

My experience at a recent tutorial served as a good opportunity to articulate and re-consider my research processes.  I am aware that I sometimes get carried away with my thesis and begin to think that it hangs together nicely, is original, breaks new ground, is sound, and so on. 
My tutor offers support through a series of honest and gentle challenges related to draft chapters:

• "Consider your reader's sensibilities." 
• "Seek consent from your family to include certain details." 
• "Examiners at a viva might question your position on this... or your approach with that..." 

Challenges such as these help me to take stock, step away from the too-easily-flowing prose and return to the processes involved in scholarly research.  My tutorial helped me to realise that although my research includes narratives and poems, these must support the purpose and overall thesis of the research and arise out of meticulous and thorough processes. 
My tutor and I also discussed the data that I had chosen not to use.  I was concerned that this might offend the particular participant concerned.  I explained my reasons for leaving it out, and my tutor suggested that I return to it and analyse it in the same way that I had analysed the other data. 
Through discussions I understood why I should include the data for ethical reasons and to reveal further important threads that might otherwise be left out.
Tutorials help me to tune in and turn around, touch base and think again.

On writing

Writing is hard work.  The process is slow.  Today I worked and re-worked on a chapter, eager to send it to my supervisor for feedback.  It seems as if every time I work on a section, I think of further sections to include.  I cannot assume that my reader understands what I mean, and so must make everything plain.  I therefore feel the need to include quite descriptive sections, i.e. "I did this, then I did that, then I thought this, then I did the other..." simply so that my reader remains informed. 
My desire differs from this ploddy approach.  I want to jump ahead to express my ideas.  Instead, I must carefully articulate all my considerations, and offer a rationale for every step I took. 
As qualitative researchers, however, I am aware that 'we do not simply chronicle "what happened next"' (Richardson, 1990, p.10).  Instead, 'we weigh and sift experiences, make choices regarding what is significant, what is trivial, what to include, what to exclude' (Ibid.).  Writing is laborious, slow, absorbing, productive, enlightening, compulsive... Writing cannot be avoided.  Writing enlightens and reveals the gaps. Writing...

On titles

I like titles.  They break up text, point to content, separate meaning, organise information, indicate, announce...  I am considering what title to give my section about analysing the data.  How did I make meaning out of the oral tellings, transcripts and notes?  How did I analyse my encounters with the participants, the ensuing transcripts, my reflections and evolving understanding, my decisions, my subsequent conversations with the participants, my organisation of the content and my writing and re-writing of the stories? I started with the title: 'What happened?' Then I thought of other, more fitting titles: 'Mapping the Stories', 'Charting the Research Journey', 'Moulding the Transcripts', 'Moving Stories', 'Making Sense of the Stories', 'The Stories'...
Perhaps I am not ready to seal this chunk of EdD work with a title. Titles seal.

Working with the stories

I work with the stories in different ways.  I transcribe, re-read, select, re-tell, include more detail, transpose, rearrange, cross-reference, re-write, write, learn from, write, question...

This is an example of a story at work, in the process of taking shape.
In the midst of all this working, my participants remain at the heart of the process.  I am grateful for their generosity in sharing their stories and humbled by their welcome, positive response and openness. 
Writing stories is a learning process.

New directions

As I carry out more interviews with participants, my thinking develops.  Accordingly, my reading selections reflect emerging scenes and directions.  The literature review is indeed a living, ongoing account of past and current readings, and how these impact on the research.  Every interview leads me to stop at a 'dwelling post' (Cousins & Bissar, 2012) to assimilate new stories and broaden the landscape of my understanding.  The stories I am privileged to hear steer the direction of this research.  The stories are the research.
            Stories steer
            Readings delve
            Dwell awhile
            No stopping

Cousins, 2012

Respectful and reflexive research - some reflections

I am conscious of my responsibility as a researcher.  I hold my participants' stories and can never be parted from them.  As Jools Page (2011) points out, I cannot un-know the data.
One of my EdD participants spoke particularly frankly to me, and her story contained details I did not anticipate.  I hear and re-hear her words as she uttered them, at different paces, with a range of intonations.  And all of her story is relevant to my research.  If I am interested in how practitioners feel able to love children in their care, and what their views are about loving children in their care, then I am interested in any reflections they want to share with me about how they experienced love in their own childhoods.
The data suggests that this particular participant has adopted an approach to protect children against the sort of childhood she experienced.  Her life experiences give shape to the 'professional love' (Page, 2011) she gives to children.
Her story is dramatic, shocking and moving.  It moves me to hold a new epistemological position, in that I now understand the world differently as a result of her story and need to accommodate it into my world view.  My position has moved.  On another level, I am moved to feel for her, not out of sympathy but with sensitivity.  Her story affects me.
Her story also causes me to reflect on how I unconsciously adopt positions and habits in my adult life to protect me from, or contrast with, some features of my own childhood.  For example, my mother was very creative and spontaneous, so life was a bit unpredictable.  To resist this, I adhered to strict routines as a mother.  My parents moved several times, whereas I lived in one place for eighteen years while my children were growing up.
My research affects me.  I need to declare this in my thesis.  I also need to justify my research activity.  What am I giving back to my participants?  What is my relationship with them?

Layers and layers of meaning to unearth

I re-read and re-read the first transcript, listening to the tape, making changes in pencil, then in print, until I finally send off the 14 pages to the research participant.  The more I learned from reading the transcript, the more grateful I became that she allowed me to interview her.  The text has many layers and is rich with meaning.
We are immensely privileged as researchers.
My participants agreed to be interviewed by me, invited me into their workplaces, made me cups of tea, told me their stories, shared their insights.  I am humbled by the experience.  This spurs me on, and contributes to my determination to do a good job.  I don't want to let them down, or to show disrespect.  I want to, in some way, be able to match their gift to me.  But, whether I achieve this or not, I still humbly accept the gift I was given.

Stories to move me

I have carried out three interviews and transcribed one.  It is a privilege to listen to practitioners' stories.  The transcribing process is very slow but invaluable.  The tone of voice, pace of speech and use of vocabulary all convey meaning together. 
This is a period of busy action, learning and unexpected emotional responses.  The stories are vivid and varied, and convey fresh insights.  They move me, both emotionally and in my thinking.  I am learning, for example, that there are strong links between practitioners' experiences of love as children and their approach in the nursery.
This is a positive period in the EdD journey.

Embracing Uncertainty - Rhizomatic learning

Sharing the research process

It helps to write. By writing frequently, I am continuing the research process, developing my thinking, forming my ideas, making plans...
I can't over-emphasise the importance of ongoing reading, as part of the research journey. Every time I read a new article or chapter, I think my whole research afresh.
At the weekend, for example, I read an article in which a researcher explained how she worked creatively with her transcripts as malleable products, and re-shaped them into poems that re-told the stories of the participants. The new word clusters re-presented the feelings and experiences evoked in the transcripts.
I would argue that the literature review cannot be accomplished before the research, but must be woven into the research process throughout the period of the research and beyond.

Rest for mothers

Mothering Sunday is an opportunity to take a break, take a breath, linger.  Like a good, life-like poem, the liturgical year includes resting points, opportunities to stop.

A staccato entry

Some EdD jobs accomplished today:

• Downloaded an article I wanted to read, referred to in Leggo's piece
• Did some writing, adding learning from new reading to the existing draft
• Read the Nutbrown review: interim report
• Found relevant bits and included a short commentary in the introduction

The interim report by Cathy Nutbrown, I am delighted to note, states: 'When we talk of babies, toddlers and young children we must think of learning in a broad sense; infant-appropriate pedagogies of looking, listening and loving...' (5.5)  I am encouraged that the theme of my research is highly relevant.

Next EdD related task:

• Print thesis draft and read for coherence

Excuse the bullet-point style of this posting.  The lyricism will return.

Daily Practical and Reflective Achievements

My participant packs are ready! I need to identify my theoretical frameworks. I have identified the following as possibilities: Roland Bathes, Hilary Janks, Lorri Neilson, Ken Plummer.

Ken Plummer's (2001) book, Documents of Life 2: An invitation to a critical humanism, is excellent. We write life stories not because we are obsessed with individualism, but to celebrate the human subject. This approach counteracts the modern tendency towards becoming too abstract or linear. Life is 'always in flow and every messy' (p.7).

First Year Students - Research Synergies

One of my first year students has taken an interest in my research area. I am impressed that she has already started to think about her own final year project. This is excellent forward planning. I am sorry that I will not be around to supervise her in the final year!

She recommended a book and a school with a focus on loving young children. I hope we will remain in touch!

EdD and course leader events

I have an appointment for my first EdD research interview! I am very pleased to be making a start. I think I have been putting it off.
I visited a student in Greenford this morning. It is a school I used to support in my earlier role as Early Years Consultant, so it was good to see familiar faces and meet up with old colleagues.
The external examiner for my degree visited me today at university. We had a long chat then she looked through the work and gave me feedback. We travelled back some of the way together and talked about our progress on our respective EdDs.

Poems and 1st Year Students

Watery words still sounding
Winter days all gone
Long evenings in the harbour

Thank you to all my EdD Early Childhood Education friends for joining me in some Haiku writing at the last study weekend.

Little boats resting
Quiet in the blue harbour
The sea awaits them

I am tired today. I led a session with my fabulous first year students. They drew pictures to represent their understanding about the Te Whariki approach. They chose a Froebel feature of play to write about with reference to their placement settings.  They will add these to their learning blogs, then post the link on the VLE. They will also post their responses to my Semester 1 feedback (ungraded) before the grades are published. This is all excellent stuff. It is a privilege to be a university tutor, and technology is a useful tool. It can be used to expand, connect and engage.

Paired writing

Today I wrote with my co-researcher on a narrative research project we carried out last year. Writing with another person is very powerful. We write in silence, listening to the click, click, click of the keys or the pencil scribbling. My friend asked me to articulate what I meant in my own words. We help each other, set dates for further writing meetings, re-adjust time scales, talk about our families and health. It is a privilege to be a co-researcher. So much more can be achieved with two than with one.

All this helps me to progress on my EdD in a roundabout way. My confidence increases. I have excellent company. I begin to believe in myself.

A helpful voice

Thank you, Cecile, for taking an interest in my blog. You have always offered your strong support for my work and motivated me to learn new things and develop my career. Your challenge is a good one, to which I have not got an answer. However, it serves as a constant reminder that I must articulate my rationale for adopting an aesthetic approach very clearly. Lorri Neilson has written some excellent work in support of using the arts in research. I will refer to her work and the work of others. I am all in, now. My mind, heart and soul have a part to play. Please keep the challenges coming, Cecile!

Getting ready

I bought a digital recorder from Argos today and am playing with it. I am one step closer to carrying out my empirical research. The next steps are to

- Print and laminate the information sheet

- Prepare a 'help' sheet

- Make appointments with my participants

I have some time in April, after my present job and before my new job. This will be the ideal time to rest and arrange some research encounters.

Another task is to develop a soft language for my research and build up my own terms of reference. 'Data analysis', for example, has a hard tone to it. 'Meaning making' might replace it more closely for the purposes of this study. Verse alone will not earn the project a place in the academic community. My lyric inquiry needs to adhere to a solid framework, with a clearly articulated rationale. Perhaps my first term of reference might be to give the methodological approach a suitable title.

I am going to return a book to the Institute of Education today. I can no longer renew it. The book is an edited edition by J.G. Knowles and A.L. Cole, Handbook of the Arts in Qualitative Research. My favourite piece is by Carl Leggo, Astonishing Silence: Knowing in Poetry. My favourite quotation from the piece is: 'Poetry acknowledges how the heart and imagination are always integral parts of human knowing. Poetry seeks the truth about human experience.' Does this help you to understand my position? I am quite passionate about poetry as a powerful, resonating tool in research.

I spent a lot of time this weekend tidying up my study, preparing my work space and clearing out unnecessary rubble. I want to access books and papers easily, and have my tools ready, to hand. Aaah, the anticipation.

A beginning

Today I received my ethical clearance letter and can begin to collect my data.  I can now contact my participants and arrange interview sessions.  I need to prepare a pack with my statement, consent form and list of organisations.  I can now purchase a digital recorder.  I am all set to go!  I will try and fit in some of this before I begin my new job at the end of April. This is a wonderful opportunity and huge privilege and I hope I do a good job.  I will certainly do my best.  My new workplace will support me with my research.
Help is at hand from my supervisor.  We can meet at study weekends or at the British Library.